Confused and Elated

So Nick and I have been out three times...and no kiss. No anything actually. And I am really frustrated. And excited. And everything in between.

I didn't really want the night to end. But we'd both been up since really early. Now I'm too excited to sleep.

I'm pretty sure he likes me too. And I totally put myself out there. On more than one occasion. But he didn't take the bait. So then I get confused. And I hope he thinks it's cute, because if he doesn't then I'll feel dumb and I HATE feeling dumb.

I don't want to rush it, because I have a feeling this could potentialy be something amazing. As much as I hate to admit it, could be greater than anything I could have imagined. Maybe that's why he always made me so nervous, and still does. Like school girl nervous. It's completly weird. I was never like that when I was a school girl.

I'm kinda hoping when he calls tomorrow, because he calls everyday, that he's in the city with nothing to do before I go to work. Because I really want to see him tomorrow, and the next day, and maybe the day after that.

Craig actually called me tonight. And I didn't pick up the phone. Nor did I answer his text messages. I just don't think I have it in me to live the "military life". With him gone all the time. And the possibility of having to move for his job. As much as I love him... I need him to be here, and he's not prepared to do that. And he shouldn't have to give up his dreams for me. I don't expect him to. I guess we'll have to see what happens.